Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Willingness

For my whole life, over and over again, I've been told that people don't change. People are as they are and there's not a thing that will change that. In old age, this amplifies. A person who was slightly rigid in youth will become completely stiff as they mature.

This may be true, but I'd like to examine the root causes and the implications of this chosen behavior pattern. First, it is important to consider that change is difficult. It requires that a person make an effort to examine his/her own behavior and reflect with a level of criticism. Basically, one must admit to imperfection. One must admit to being wrong. How many people are really able to do this without suffering a blow to the ego? So, we've established that change is not instinctual. Change requires a great deal of effort.

Why then, would someone want to change? We can agree that our environment changes constantly. We can also agree that the people within our environment change along with it. As most people view human interaction as an important component of their daily existence, it is therefore important to be able to adjust to these different types of people. One must flex and bend in order to function.

Imagine the following analogy: A child’s bones are flexible. The child will run and play and bump and bruise. Occasionally the child will break a bone, but in most cases, the bones are able to take a good stretch. As this child ages and moves into adulthood, the bones become less flexible and more brittle. A bump that would have yielded a little bruise in childhood now requires a hip replacement. The difference? Brittle, inflexible bones. The bones are unable to adjust properly to the corner into which they bumped. The lack of adjustment is a detriment to the one unwilling to flex rather than the environment. The point here is that even a predictable environment will not remain static. Adjustment and flexibility are necessary to function normally.

I would also argue that a person who asks "Can people change?" is really asking, "Can one person make another change?" The answer to this question is, "No." But this only extends so far as the other person is unwilling to adjust. A person who is willing to adjust can do so up until the last day of their life.

So the question really becomes: Can a person change? With those who would insist that the answer is no, I would adamantly disagree.

Change is a matter of choice. One can always choose to make him/herself a better person. One would always benefit from such a choice. People who are unwilling and stubborn are hurting themselves. We are not bones. We are minds with the ability to use rational thought in order to train and retrain ourselves to move throughout our existence. I only recently learned how to cook a great risotto. Just a month ago was the first time I tried to play guitar. My age was not a hindrance. In fact, my ability to discipline myself and engage willpower (through the callus-forming stage) increased the speed with which I picked up these new skills.

My father would always have said, “Mind over matter.” What he meant was that one can do anything he/she chooses (aside from breaking physical law). He’s right.

8 Comments:

At 8:19 PM, Blogger Kara Alison said...

"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." - Dylan Thomas

OK, so not that I'm anywhere near death (that I know of), but I despise the idea that I can't impact my ability to learn and change as I age. I've always observed that inability to change is actually just a claim that the elderly make because they feel they've earned the right to be (at the risk of sounding insensitive) lazy in their old age.

Those who work, and learn and read are the ones who are brilliant until the end. I've seen this too, and it's amazing.

Maybe I'm young and optimistic? Idealistic? I guess I'll gain that perspective in time.

 
At 10:47 PM, Blogger Jeff said...

kara- Very nice post! I believe change and adaptation are possible but only if the individual is willing. "You can lead a horse to water but . . " :)

 
At 11:26 PM, Blogger Kara Alison said...

Jason - I suppose that I've accepted that others are not going to change, but I think what I reject is the idea that I have to adopt that attitude as well. I also agree that the world should be viewed as it is. This is necessary if we have any hope of making it better.

Jeff - Thanks! I'm working on making this blog therapeutic for myself as well as interesting and thought provoking for others. Hopefully I'm getting closer to striking that balance.

 
At 10:15 AM, Blogger Michele said...

Howdy Hi Allison!
Thanks for visiting my humble blog!!
After seeing Jason's post, I think I know now how you found me, LOL!

Very thought provoking post.
My 2 cents...learn something every day, because if you won't, you're dead.
That's one of my "favorite things", to learn something everyday. That's why blogging is so Wonderful! I've met so many different people , with different viewpoints, life experiences and senses of humor. In my own small town, I don't get to "meet" some one from New Zealand, Australia, India and England.
The computer has brought the biggest change in our society since the inventions of flight and motorized movement.

I'll leave my mark on your blog by reciting some Latin phrases of old time religion!!

Licet mihi venerari pro deo quemlibet, etiam SpongoRobertum QuadratoBracatum.

English translation courtesy of Henry Beards "X-treme Latin":

I get to worship whomever I like, including SpongeBob SquarePants.

Like I said, I love to learn new things!!

 
At 1:36 PM, Blogger Michele said...

*sigh*
I did it HERE as well as on my Blog...I put your First name Last and your Last name First!!!!

Great Apologies!!!
Hang me up in the Transposition Hall Of Infamy.

I accept my biological penchant for twisted brain thoughts....maybe that's why I like Ren and Stimpy so much???

 
At 4:33 PM, Blogger Kara Alison said...

Thanks Michelle and no problem about the name. Alison is actually my middle name. I just wasn't quite comfortable using my full real name on a blog (don't know why...maybe it's silly...at any rate). It's my name, even if it's a part of it that most people don't use!

I continue to support your love of R&S by the way. No qualifiers are necessary.

 
At 4:34 PM, Blogger Kara Alison said...

Aack! And then after all of that, I misspell your name! Sorry, Michele with ONE l.

 
At 5:05 PM, Blogger Michele said...

LOL, Kara!!!

BTW-You are NOT silly, in any way, shape or form , for NOT putting your full name. You are being responsible, cautious and proactive-protective. All good things.

They meet the criteria of Darwin's "Theory of Evolution". Survival of the fittest, right?
Of course, that's supposing that Darwin would have written just such a treatise on computer related survival amongst society.

Did that make any sense????

Anyway,
TTFN!

 

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