The Republicans are rebranding - They're more out of touch than I realized.

Oh my goodness. Having come from corporate America, I am all too familiar with the term "rebranding." It's a term that is thrown around when a company decides to refresh its image, all in the hopes of tricking more consumers into buying something they clearly didn't need (or they would already be buying it, right?).

I have a background in marketing. I studied it at the undergraduate level and also earned my MBA. After this, I found myself disgusted with, well, myself...and what I was doing. I've since realized that marketing is a career that I can no longer bring myself to pursue.

That said - yes, I fall very far onto the left side of the political spectrum. I am proud to say I make my political decisions (and place my votes) on principles and duties in favor of emotions and selfishness. I try very hard to see through the political banter (yes, from both sides) to see the truth so that I can make what I consider to be the right decision.

This is why I am so disappointed that the republican party is rebranding itself. How appropriate that during a time where we are seeing an economic upheaval, the party that cherishes sameness is latching onto the very system that has failed us: corporate America. Who wants to bet they hired tons of private sector consultants to help with their rebranding? And to do what exactly? Instead of re-examining the ideals of the party in order to ensure that the party still represents America (and not just some elite group of fat-cats), they've just decided to re-vamp their image? If only the problem were simply the surface.

A party that no longer holds the trust of the voting public has bigger problems than its image. A party that has its voting base in the ignorant and closed-minded has bigger problems than branding. A party that bases its persuasion tactics on the same shameless tactics used to coerce people into killing one another - fear, threats, promises of fruits in the afterlife - rather than telling the voters the truth...that is a party with a problem....And this problem is one that rebranding can't solve.

Rebranding is a band-aid. The republican party should show not only the voters, but also itself the respect of actually fixing the root of its problems. It is out of touch. It does not represent all of America - only an elite set interested in pushing their judgements onto others instead of living and letting live.

Rather than rebranding - I suggest the republican party consider creating a product that people actually want to buy instead.

The Talk - What is the big deal?

I'm just going to lay it all out here. I'm so tired of people acting like we can't be honest with our kids. I don't have children and I haven't given the talk personally (unless you count the knowledge I passed on when I was 7), but I think we're building sex up to be some big evil act when we can't even talk openly about it.

Here's my story:

I was 7 years old. I had a 1 year old little sister, and I was starting to put things together in my mind. Mom had her in her belly for a while, then she came out. What made the baby grow in the first place? How did it all happen? What if I had a baby someday?

With no big plan in mind, I went to my Dad (who happened to be nearest at the moment) and said, "Where did my sister come from?"

Without hesitation, he sat down and started talking. He started by telling me about the seed and the egg. I asked him how the seed got into mommy, "Does she eat it?"

He then explained about the penis going into the vagina. Being a little girl, I had no idea that the vagina could open up so big. I asked him, "Doesn't that hurt?" He said, "Actually, it feels really good."

Now, I had been masturbating (without knowing what it was) for years. I'm sure my parents had probably seen me at it (again, I had NO idea what I was doing - or that there might be something wrong with it). He said, "You know when you touch your vagina and it feels kind of good?" I replied in the affirmative. "It feels like that...but even better."

There was a little more logistical talk after that, but was about it. I felt totally satisfied with the answers I had received. I didn't feel bad about myself. I went on with life.

What is it that is in other parents' heads that makes this so hard for them? While I was watching Oprah today, the audience gasped at the idea of encouraging girls to masturbate. What the fuck? I've always been incredibly responsible about sex. I've never had an STD. I've never been pregnant. I don't have any regrets about my sexual history. Anything I've done with a boy, I've done because I wanted to. I am totally comfortable with my body and my sexuality. I have to wonder how many girls can honestly say all of that.

I just don't get what the big deal is. Why can't we admit to young people that sex feels good? Why on earth wouldn't we empower young girls to pleasure themselves? All I know is that I've been empowered since I was a VERY young girl (think pre-school) and I couldn't be happier about it!

A Midwinter Night's Dream

Last night, a vision came to me
Of choc’late sweet confection’ry,
Of swirling colors, purple, red,
Golden yellow, splash’d through my head.

Through fields of green t’were rabbits hopping,
Candies from their bottoms plopping,
Clucking from their mouths did come,
To beats played on a bongo drum.

Though not a rabbit-hole in sight,
Nor any of the rabbits white,
Still, I felt compelled to follow,
Perhaps to treasure hid in hollow.

I tiptoed quietly so’s not to scare,
The timid, frightful little hare,
To a clearing in forest deep,
At bottom of an incline steep.

My mouth dropped open, what a sight,
Oh joy within my soul ignite!
Better than the fabled youth’s fountain,
I’d been lead to a chocolate mountain.

Inhibition nowhere found,
Into the clearing I did bound,
My naked body poised and ready,
The thought alone had got me heady.

My arms tossed back as if to fly,
I jumped and arched into the sky,
And as my flight began descent,
Into the mound, by body went.

At the pivotal point I gaped,
My mouth wide open, no drop escaped,
Of chocolate filled with heaven’s milk,
Flavour divine and texture silk.

I woke, the taste still on my tongue,
And joyful noise, issued from my lung,
From winter’s prison, finally sprung,
Eggs to delight both old and young.

Now get out there and eat those creme eggs! Happy Chocolate!

Bad Porn

I suppose I'm probably years late on this observation, but I must point out that I am not an avid porn watcher. As a general rule, I've always found it kind of disturbing. Now, more than ever though, I'm concerned that the porn industry is taking things way too far, and moral and ethical lines have not only been crossed, but trampled and then shat upon.

I suppose I should start by pointing out that some people probably do watch porn for "wholesome" reasons. They just want something to jerk off to, or to spice up the old love life. Overall, I'm cool with that. I have started to notice a difference though between how men and women view porn.

Men are clearly the primary audience for traditional porn. Men want to watch a clean shaven (or waxed) woman with giant fake boobs getting nailed by a dude with a 12 inch penis. As far as I can tell, most women do not prefer this type of film. Women, generally will read a little Danielle Steele (or Laurel K. Hamilton and her vampire sluts), or at most, watch some soft core porn. The difference, as far as I can tell, is that in either case, the woman is not completely dominated or violently railed in these softer versions. These types of sexual media are also more along the lines of what a woman would like to see in her love life.

What I find disturbing is that men seem to want a woman to be completely submissive, non-opinionated, and apparently made of rubber in the sack. Even more disturbing is the huge amount of porn where men are not only violent towards their "lovers," they actually beat them, spit on them, and verbally abuse them throughout the act. There are countless videos on the internet with titles like, "I rape my 18 year old daughter's best friend in her sleep," or, "Old dude gets 16 year old drunk and she doesn't know what hit her." I'm disturbed by the fact that this porn exists (often in the amateur variety), but also by the fact that someone gets off on it.

Can someone please explain to me how this has happened? How is our society - supposedly enlightened - still producing this filth? I'm ashamed to live in a world where some females are still desperate enough to sell themselves on street corners. I'm saddened by the fact that some women will allow themselves to be beaten, humiliated and then filmed in the act. More so though, I am devastated that there are buyers for this crap. Who are these sick fucks?

And what happened to all of the knights in shining armor?

Is anyone else tired of Scarlett Johannson?

Scarlett Johansson is undoubtedly a physically beautiful woman. I've always been somewhat aware of the effect that female beauty can have on men. For some reason, intelligent, rational men, become totally incapable of unbiased thought in the presence of such beauty. In everyday conversation, this is not a major issue (well, unless a beautiful woman desires intelligent conversation with a man...but let's not be silly). When a journalist is tasked with conducting an interview that he will then attempt to translate into an article for the public consumption though, one would hope that said journalist would set out to maintain as much clarity and emotional detachment as possible. It is therefore very surprising to see the "My Five Dads" article written by Jason Killingsworth in issue number 43 of Paste magazine.

Rather than maintain the journalistic integrity that is the duty of a magazine writer, Killingsworth has taken the approach that he is Ms. Jo's publicist and he is promoting anything and everything that she produces. He exorbitantly details her every breath, movement and word as he catalogs her accomplishments (which, as far as I can tell, include acting, being pretty, and over-indulging her own whims). He sets up a ridiculous premise that she is influenced by these five men, who, she admits, she doesn't really know very well - or at all ("'It wasn't like Bill and I had so much in common that we could have this great personal relationship,'...the actors' personal relationship didn't stretch far beyond the word 'cut.'"). He has also, conveniently, neglected to comment on the quality of her album of Tom Waits covers altogether. Probably because it sucks. I can only assume that Killingsworth has written this article with hopes that ScarJo will read it and, as a result, want to sleep with him.

Perhaps this was meant as a social experiment of some sort. Perhaps Killingsworth has some sort of monetary stake in the album? Perhaps Paste has become one of those mindless publications that blindly kisses the ass of any celebrity it features. Perhaps this is application of reverse psychology. If so, it's working on me. After reading an article filled with this sort of gushing, unconditional and shameless praise, my overwhelming gut response is to ask, "Who the hell does Scarlett Jo think she is?"

I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt and I checked out snippets of her songs on itunes (only "Falling Down" is available at the moment, but I'm eagerly awaiting the full album release). Are we so blinded by her celebrity that we don't notice the glaring reality? I feel like the little boy in The Emperor's New Clothes. Please, come on a little journey with me:

Once upon a time, in a faraway land (let's call it "Hollywood"), there lived a princess named Scarlett. All of the people loved princess Scarlett because she was so beautiful. One day Scarlett noticed that some of the other princes and princesses were making CDs in studios and selling them to the commoners. She thought to herself, "Oh, how wonderful it would be if I could sing some songs and have people give me their money!" Then, one magical day, a wizard (he called himself a "producer") visited princess Scarlett and told her that she could do just that.

When the album was done, she built it up for weeks and weeks, telling everyone how wonderful it would be. Finally, the commoners were allowed to listen to the CD. They all gathered for the great unveiling. When the album was played, the dull, flat sounds of Princess Scarlett's voice filled the square. The people all wondered if they were the only ones who didn't like what they heard. Instead of voicing this though, they all pretended that what they heard was wonderful and applauded the princess wildly.

Then, one small child spoke up, "But Tom Waits already sang all of these songs - and Scarlett sounds terrible!"

The audience was shocked, but slowly they realized that the little boy was right. The started to laugh and laugh, but Scarlett took no notice.

The child piped in again, "Oh, and Scarlett has nothing on!" - but wait, maybe that's the problem...

My Abusive Lover

As is the custom during most infatuations, each moment we had together was perfect. My lover had not one single flaw. I would finger each delicate detail of his smooth form in complete adoration. As my teeth playfully nibbled away at him, he would eventually open his mouth to mine so my tongue could probe within. I thought I had found heaven. I spent nearly every conscious moment daydreaming about how wonderful it would be once we were together again. We had an unusually long courtship. Looking back, it lasted for the better part of 26 years.

I never questioned that he was only around for 3 months out of an entire year. Those three months, filled with a lustful gluttony in which we were completely consumed with one another, more than made up for his long sabbaticals. Besides, the absence only made my heart yearn for him all the more.

It was in the 26th year, that I started to notice a change. He was there, but not in the same capacity. It seemed as if his intensity was shrinking. Was it that his desire for me was waning?

Other alarming behavior soon followed. He started making large, impulsive purchases without even mentioning them to me. The last straw was when I caught him dressing up in disguises and running around in the time during which he claimed to be “so busy” with other stuff.

I must confess that even during this strange experimentation, I embraced him and took advantage of the increased opportunity to be near him…to have him inside me.

I know that it’s wrong. I know that I shouldn’t accept this type of treatment, but I can’t stop. I’m addicted.

Breast Cancer 3-day

As anyone who reads my blog on the regular knows, I am not above shameless plugging. The following confirms that.

I am participating in the Breast Cancer 3-day walk. I am working on raising some significant money for the Susan G. Komen for the Cure and National Philanthropic Trust, funding important breast cancer research, education, screening, and treatment. If you would like to make a donation in support of these very worthy causes, please follow this link:

My personal Page

Thank you so much for your help.